Sharing details on my personal journey to practicing healthy self-love
Photography by Carley Storm Branding Co
Alright guys, I’m just going to say it: HOLY SHIT. This year has been insane. In spite of so much uncertainty & fear, many of us have made positive strides for our businesses as well as our mental health. So much has changed since the beginning of the year and I believe it’s finally time for a much needed update on where I am at now and how I am working on falling in self-love.
A NEW BEGINNING
This year was full of unexpected events – one of them being the ending of my 8 year relationship. Out of respect for myself & him, I will not be sharing details – I thank you all in advance for understanding. I will say, however, there is a lot of terror that comes with a new beginning. Sometimes we find ourselves crippled with fear & doubt. So how have I been coping? My therapy sessions, my closest friends & family as well as solo trips. I am learning that the healing process requires us to challenge ourselves to step out of our comfort zones. After all, we don’t grow from staying stagnant right?
THERAPY FOR THE WIN
How many of us hide behind a smile to shield the world of the turmoil we face behind closed doors? The suffering we endure so we do not burden the ones we love. At the beginning of 2020, I made the ultimate decision finally take control over my mind instead of wallowing in my pain of the past. I found that while I was preaching the concept of self-love, I myself was not following my own advice.
NAVIGATING THOUGH HEARTBREAK
Here are some of the notes I have taken during some of my recent therapy sessions:
- Our brains LOVE pattens. That’s why breakups are so hard. When we change the patterns of our lives, our ego tries to feed us thoughts of doubt. The best way to gain control of our minds is to focus on OUR PRESENT reality: e.g. what is happening right here, right now.
- Take each day one day at a time. If that doesn’t work, break down your day moment by moment. Focus on the positive that is before you now as often as you can.
- Approach your emotions with gentleness & a little bit of humor. Tiktok has really helped me with humor hehe.
STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
I recall thinking “why is it when someone goes through a breakup they suddenly become obsessed with travel?” Now I have come to realize that travel is not a form of showing off. Rather, it’s a reminder we give ourselves that we have inner strength. By choosing to seek adventure rather than wallow in sadness, we open ourselves up to the opportunity to grow from our pain. Whether it’s on a personal or creative level. I have made it a personal mission for myself to do things that scare me more to be the fearless woman I have always wanted to become.
It’s safe to say I have wasted years full of self hate. In doing so, I didn’t just hurt myself. I have also been responsible for hurting others along the way. It’s a double edged sword when we are cruel to ourselves because our loved ones also get hurt seeing us in pain. This year, I decided enough is enough. Instead of drowning others in the turmoil of my sorrows, I have chosen to face them head on on my own. In doing so, no one else has to get hurt in the process. So how do you practice self love on a daily basis? Here’s how I have been doing so:
- Forgive yourself. Recognize that you are human – we all make mistakes. When we accept our mistakes we can learn from them moving forward.
- Be gentle with yourself. Growth takes time. Recognize that change happens in the small steps we take. This journey is a long one but I hope out hope that it is worthwhile.
- Be your own cheerleader. It’s always nice to have someone believe in you but also take time to believe in yourself & your capabilities.
- Surround yourself with people who inspire you. It’s a universal fact: who you surround yourself will ultimately determine where you will be in the next few years. If you want to be in a better place mentally or on a business standpoint, be sure to surround yourself with friends & family who will help you achieve your goals. The biggest form of self-love can be found in who we chose to surround ourselves with.
Fall(ing) in self-love is a long journey but it’s a necessary one that we all must to take. Many of us have hard to stay goodbye to relationships this year – whether they are on friendship or romantic levels. I know it hasn’t been easy but it’s my hope that during this time you feel loved now more than ever. If you ever need anyone to speak with, I am only an email or DM away.
Feel free to check out my therapy sessions notes on how to cope with quarantine as we have begun the process of phasing out to “normal”.